- - i'm not selling any bags...really,i'm not - - bukan jualan tas kok..sumpah - -

2011-08-07T00:50:00.000+07:00

Finally, yes.... after years of suffering... did it.. done that.. Ph.D. hmmmm sounds cool. :D

hehehe

and i am not even 30 yet. he he he.... proud of myself for this.

but now... hmm... oohh... errrr... what should i do? @@

i am not a nerd, oh boy, you can have my word for that. but... on the other hand... i had been in the safe place called school almost my entire life :P so i am kinda confuse right now. what should i do next? it is not like i have never worked before. i had worked in several, wait, a lot of projects. but still, i was also student at that time (read previous posts).

you see, there is always another goal, another bar i should pass. after i finished my bachelor degree, ah ok, i have to get my master... after i finished my master, ah ok, i have to get my phd. and now, ah ok, i have to....... (fill in the blank with something)

but anyway, i am just happy to say that i am now, Bagus Adityawan, ST., MT., Ph.D. :)

Things I love from iPad and I hate (also)

2010-12-15T16:58:00.005+07:00

first thing first,... yeah i am back here. :P
tumblr is fun, but it`s just different. so long story short. i am back. i will keep both, my blog and my tumblr.
ok lets get serious. i want to let you know things i love from iPad and i hate (also).
1. The size
i have to admit, i don`t like it. it is too big. but somehow, i can not imagine an iPad in a smaller size. for a start, typing with the onscreen keyboard will not be fun anymore.
but, if it was smaller, it will be more portable. yet... i can not enjoy movie as much as now with the big screen. so, size is something i love and i hate (also).
2. Multitasking
ok, so this is crucial, multitasking. the fast app switch that comes with the iOS 4.2.1 is cool. but we need true multitasking to be more productive. yet.... i can imagine myself opening too much window and in the end, get nothing done. the app switch will make me focus in one task only, that i will be able to actually get something done! so, true multitasking is something i love and i hate (also).
3. No Phone Call
this is something that might be solved by some apps already (but i havent found one up to now). i admit, making phone call with that size will ofcourse, make you look stupid. but a bluetooth handsfree device should solve it. i just dont see why, we can not make a phone call with iPad. i need an app with true bluetooth handsfree support. but... still, somehow, i can not imagine myself making phone call with it. it`s just not mean to be that way. admit it, we have our sophisticated cell phone to do that. so again, no phone call is something i love and i hate (also).
4. No Flash
this is strange. but believe me. browsing flash is not that cool when you have slow internet connection. flash will only making it worst. and i am not a big fan of steve, but it is true though, a flash web page can lead to the lethal combination of ctrl+alt+del end task :P but still, it would be nice to have a true browsing experience with flash...so, no flash is something i love and i hate (also).
5. No stereo speaker full surround etc
oh my, i would really really love that in my iPad!!!! but... it will not do any good since most of the time, i use my iPad at work, cafe, bus with earphone.... so the only time i could turn max volume for the speaker is at home.. but by the time i got home, i have a sound system, hook it with the iPad. and boom! party!!! :P and i think, fancy speakers would put some extra weight on it...that will not be fun. so, no stereo speaker full surround etc is something i love and i hate (also).
6. No Camera
i hate iPad for this. but i love it too. i can not imagine myself holding iPad, trying hard to get the best angle for my face while keep my hand comfortable for typing and other stuffs. ofcourse, if you have a BT keyboard, you can adjust the angle, and in the end, the arrangement will be less more similar to a notebook. then why the hell you buy an iPad??use your notebook or pc for that. or use your phone, which you can hold easily. so yeah, i want a camera, but i dont want a camera. i think the best solution if apple can provide and external webcam for iPad. that would be cool. but back to topic... so, no camera is something i love and i hate (also).
7. Some cydia app should have been in app store
you know, most of the problems that people complain about iPad, can be solved by installing some apps from cydia. but.... in my experience, some cydia apps can be a bit complicated for some people. especially those who are not "advance" users... so keep it simple with app store or solve your problem with cydia. but i really feel that apple can implement some of the cydia apps.. anyway, again... so, no cydia app in app store is something i love and i hate (also).

overall, i think that iPad is really a new type of device. if you are looking a replacement for a phone, dont buy this. if you are looking for a replacement for your computers, dont buy this.
i would say that iPad is a supplement for your computers. so, if you already have a computer (pc, mac, netbook, notebook, etc), then go for iPad.
but if you dont have any computer at all. and you are thinking to get a netbook. get a netbook...

Moving to http://taskita.tumblr.com

2010-12-07T19:46:00.004+07:00

hey there!
i have an announcement to make (like anyone ever read this blog :P )
well just in case you do read this blog, i am moving to http://taskita.tumblr.com
the reason i move is because it has iPad support and incredibly easy to use. please feel free to check it out. see you there!!!

http://taskita.tumblr.com

so loud yet so quiet

2010-11-21T16:43:00.004+07:00

life can be difficult sometimes... well, for some people might be most of the times. anyway, there are so many people walking on earth. it can be so crowded sometimes. nevertheless, emptiness is there. emptiness cries so loud yet so quiet that no one can hear it... for some, it can be unbearable. for me, i can live with that loud sound of emptiness... but ... it can cries so loud that i have no idea how to shut it up...
one said that loneliness is your best friend, but it can also be your worst enemy. but that is loneliness. is it the same with emptiness?maybe..i should ask a linguist about this.
i guess, i just have to make peace with emptiness (or loneliness) otherwise i'll end up in a mental institution. hehehehe.

i dislike mac but i love ipad!

2010-11-20T15:05:00.002+07:00

So, 2 weeks ago was my birthday. i received a very generous gift from myself :P. an iPad. to be honest, i dislike mac, but I love iPad!!! hehehehe. this thing is amazing. its way better than those netbooks, faster, and last longer!!! i love it love it love it. ok so here are a few things i like most from iPad.
it is fast and stable. true. no more blue screen, no more the fatal combination of ctrl+alt+del. each touch is responded ASAP. hahahoa
next, i know its not a pc replacement, but... if you do have a reliable internet connection, you can always use one of those remote desktop vnc app such as jump. and you get your pc in yiur iPad. however, i prefer to work with iworks, such as pages, keynotes and numbers. why? a lot of people complain about them. but frankly, for engineers or students who often needs to write equations on their works, iworks will give you the best compatibility. the equations are beautifully shown in iworks, whereas others app will show you weird character.
third, the weight. it is absolutely perfect. not too light, and not to heavy.
forth, ofcourse, ibooks!
fifth, the games. yes yes yes. they are irresistible and can get you addictive.
sixth, the social networking app. oh boy man, i just downloaded flip. facebook never looks better. i love it,
anyway, as i am writing this in the bus on my iPad and i have to get off soon, so i will end this post with big thumbs up ffor iPad!

LEGO, cure for your STRESS!

2010-05-02T18:40:00.007+07:00

I have been busy lately... fun kind of busy... hehehehe. I just discovered, hmm wait, re-phrase... I just re-discovered how fun it is to play LEGO. yeap... that colorful bricks have brighten up my days.It all started with one set that i received from a dear friend who will go back to Canada. since he has no way to have his LEGO set to travel with him, he decided to hand it over to me. :D :D it was an interesting dwarf mine set. (THANK YOU MIKE)
anyway, i was building that set, and it was like a sweet reunion with my childhood. I LOVE IT! so, after i finished... OMG, the set looked so lonely... and sooooo, i purchased the next set and the next set and the next and so oooonn... and this is what i came up with

hehehe, I LOVE MY LEGO!
and since then on, i know... LEGO, cure for your STRESS! works with me. you should try it too!and now... as you can see, i have no more space to add more castles... sooooooo
i decided. it`s time to move on... i am now busy doing my CITY hehehehe. this is just a start. so wait for more to come :D

It hurrrtsssssss

2010-03-12T14:48:00.003+07:00

So, today i was just submitting my abstract for a conference. And today, i received a very unpleasant comment about my work. My dear lovely cute adviser said to me in a very casual not angry tone, `you are very good at numerical method, but at basic knowledge,... you are nothing. you are more of a calculator than a researcher or an engineer`.....
what what what???? i was like ....AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... It hurrrtsssssss...
you know, i could live with something like, `don`t make me comment about the same mistake twice, wasting my time!!!` or `there are so many mistakes in your manuscript, that i lost count...`
but this is like... what??? i spent 7 years for bachelor and master. yeah ok, i might not extremely good.... but... but ....
huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Lost....

2010-03-05T19:33:00.006+07:00

This post is not about traveling... is not about something fun or extraordinary.. it is about one word... Lost...We often get lost. during traveling, during study, during work. almost every day we get lost, weather we`re aware of it or not. So what do you do when you get lost, simple... ask to someone or something who might have the answer. You want to go to the hospital, then ask for direction or get a map. thousand ways to get to Rome they say.
Now, what kind of lost am I dealing with now? frankly. i have no idea. So you can either stop reading now and consider this as a piece of junk, a torn paragraph from a very baddd book. Or.. you can continue reading, and get lost with me. Probably then, together we can come up with something.
Beginning with doing my PhD. I felt i will be lost without it. that was my first reason taking phd course. I felt like, i can do nothing but this. so here i am now... feeling lost, wondering what the hell i am doing here? A piece of me still think that this would be a valuable investment for the future. But another piece, just saying, you are doing nothing but bringing sorrow to your life. I have to admit, i had fun here in Japan. But to think about it again, the fun that i had was just a twist from the sorrow. an effort to keep me from falling apart. so, always, fun and sorrow, twist and turn, up and down. I know this is cliche, yet, is there a way to keep the fun part only without the sorrow? and how the hell do we know that we are making a correct decision to avoid sorrow from stepping in to our lives? I used to think, just make a decision, then get on with it, deal with it. but lately... i wonder. what if?? what if?? not just about this phd thing. way back, sometime i wonder if i hadn`t been borne. will that make a different? scientist talks about the butterfly effect. but is that true? a flap of a wing might cause a thunder storm or tsunami in another part of the world. ok, now i get you all lost in my own post about lost. so in the end. i guess it was true... this is just a torn paragraph of a very, very very very bad book.
sorry to waste your time....

The Colors of Autumn

2009-11-21T10:06:00.003+07:00

Been a while since i last updated this blog :p but what the heck, nobody miss me anyway. what a lousy thing to say. i know you miss me, otherwise you would not read this.
So anyway, I have been in Japan for more than a year now. So many things have happened. Too many things actually, which required my full attention and thus, not allowing me to update this blog more often.
As for this very gloomy cloudy Saturday, suddenly I want to write. I want to show you The Colors of Autumn in 水戸 (Mito), a city outside Tokyo. There`s nothing special about the city though. But for some reasons, i just love it. See for yourself!

Nature for The Future

2009-06-14T12:22:00.005+07:00

We have been living on the earth for quite sometimes. To think about it, have you ever wondered what our rivers, mountains may have looked like thousands, millions, billions years ago? When I was just a little boy, grew up in a big city such as Jakarta, I can only think of one word relating to rivers... DIRTY...
But check this out

this river run straight to the heart of Sendai city, Japan. In away, similar to Ciliwung in Jakarta. However, I am very sure that the children here, will never think of DIRTY when it comes to river. hehehehe
So, start from today, save Nature for the Future!!!

Feels like, This is Home

2009-05-06T15:53:00.004+07:00

I was watching outside my apartment window... There's nothing beautiful outside, yet somehow. it feels like, this is home. It's weird though. Considering that I am actually 7000 km from "home". See for youserlf, nothing special. Just a bunch of buildings with weird writings.. hehehe..

I don't know what I'm gonna do when the time come and I have to leave this place. Will i be sad, or be happy? God knows. but i am sure i am gonna miss this place. the people who often miss identify me as a Nihon jin (by now, I can't tell you how often people ask me for direction) :P
in a weird kind of way, i know i'm gonna miss the excitement of figuring out what the sign on the buildings mean. hahaha.. guessing... hmm.. what does this kanji mean?? it feels like hell now, wandering around without being able to read well. but I will surely do miss that.

Taking Photo With The New Firmware for E71

2009-05-04T15:40:00.004+07:00

I read a lot of post in the internet regarding the E71 firmware. They said that the new firmware sucks, stinks, etc... I'll tell you something, the new firmware is perfect! it highly enhanced the quality of the camera.
Close up photos show good details of the object. Moving objects such as water splashing can be captured easily. Taking photo with the new firmware for e71 is something unforgettable :P

All photos above were taken using Nokia e71

Microsoft Win the Game

2009-05-04T14:35:00.012+07:00

To all of you out there, in search for an easy way to stitch your photo. Try the Microsoft Image Composite Editor (google for it). By far better and simpler than the Adobe Photoshop.. in terms of stitching photos, Microsoft Win the Game. I can stitch 8 photos within less than 5 minutes with MS ICE. Cellphone with camera and MS ICE will make you a professional photographer in an instant!

stitched from 8 photos!!!

Here are some photos that I created using MS ICE. Just see and compare them with the ones that I'd created with photoshop (previous post)

stitched from 4 photos

stitched from 3 photos

stitched from 4 photos

stitched from 4 photos

stitched from 3 photos

All photographs above were taken using Nokia E71 camera

A Cellphone Can Do A lot More Than just Texting and Making Calls!

2009-05-04T10:24:00.007+07:00

Recently, accidentally found a new hobby! hehehe... so here's the thing, my digicam had been acting really weird lately. I think it's possessed...ssssttt.... I can not turn it on for more than 1 minute, eventhough I use fully charged batteries. It shuts down itself then go on saying the batteries are empty... WTF!!!! So, since I have no other cameras, and don't want to buy a new one here in Japan (difficult to find cam with english menu), I asked help to my dear e71 cellphone. Yes, my new hobby is hmm.. how to call it? Professional Cellphone Camera Photography. hahahaha. because i think that today, A Cellphone Can Do A lot More Than just Texting and Making Calls!
I can use my dear nokia e71 to create panoramic photo (using photosphop, with a lot of cursing ^%#&%#%^ while stitching them). Here are some examples (click on the photo for a better view).

This one was taken at Matsushima beach, stitched it from 2 photos taken with my E71This one was also taken at Matsushima beach, stitched it from 3 photos taken with my E71

These were taken at Michinoku park, stitched it from 4 photos taken with my E71. A lot of cursing and slamming on computer were involved during the process!!#$@#$@%$ hahaha

This one was taken at Michinoku park, stitched it from 3 photos taken with my E71

So, what do you think? I think they are not perfect (ofcourse, what can you expect?) hehehe.. but still, it's good enough for people who likes to travel without the burden of having to carry camera everywhere. A cellphone does a lot lighter than cam.

Posting Pertama Dalam Bahasa Indonesia

2008-10-18T20:55:00.003+07:00

Halo... rasanya lucu nulis posting pake bahasa indonesia. tapi ya, berhubung ada permintaan dari seseorang untuk menulis dalam bahasa indonesia, ya dicoba... (masih untung gak disuruh nulis dalam EYD DBDB = Ejaan Yang Disempurnakan Dengan Baik dan Benar).
Jadi... eng ing eng.. dung dang dung, dreng dreng... inilah dia...
POSTING PERTAMA DALAM BAHASA INDONESIA
jadi, sekarang aku mau nulis semua pengalaman di jepang yang bisa gw ingat dalam bahasa indonesia.
pertama, dateng kesini, gw sempat mengalami kebingungan yang amat sangat. tau gak, hampir semua orang di sekitar gw,... orang jepang!!! coba bayangkan. (hem.. emang gw ke jepang tapi ya)
udah gitu, kebingungan ke dua (ini karena emang norak aja). gw harus pindah terminal pake kereta.. tobattttttt... celingukan aja dan akhirnya memutuskan mengikuti rombongan arus orang jalan (yang mayoritas orang jepang). untunglah rombongan yang diikutin bener. sampe di imigrasi dan beacukai... mateng.. harus ngisi form yang kadang isinya kanji semua... setelah berkutat beberapa lama.. berhasil mengisi form kesehatan. dengan pede dateng ke meja pemeriksaan kesehatan dan... tau gak sih!! mbak2 nya berbicara dengan bahasa inggris yang lumayan (tau gitu gw nanya aja ngisinya gimana ke mbak itu), dan katanya, kalau dari indonesia tidak perlu ngisi itu formulir sialan... huaaaaahhhhhhhh..sebel
lanjuuuuuuuuuttttttt
ke meja berikutnya, meja pemeriksaan paspor... berhubung tadi kelamaan ngisi formulir kesehatan sialan, jadinya udah rame banget tuh meja. walhasil ngantri lah gw. proses berjalan lancar..
lanjuuuuuuuuuttttttt
ngambil bagasi... dan... karena tadi kelamaan di formulir dan ngantri... bagasi pesawat gw udah abis... walhasil celingukan nyari bagasi.. dengan model pede yang tinggi (ditinggi2in), bertanyalah gw kepada petugas dengan terpatah2 ditambah bahasa tarzan. dimana tas2 yang belum diambil... susah payah gw jelasin akhirnya petugas itu ngerti... sekarang kebalikannya, si petugas susah payah njelasin ke gw dan akhiiiiirrrrrrnya gw ngerti...ampuuuunnnn. gw ngambil bagasi di tempat yang ditunjukin petugas.
lanjuuuuuuuuttttttt
ke pemeriksaan bagasi.. entah malaikat mana yang udah kasian liat gw, proses kali ini super lancar. gw berbicara menerangkan dalam bahasa jepang (yang agak lancar) mengenai tujuan gw kejepang dan apa bawaan gw. gak sampe semenit gw lewat. tas gak dibuka, gak ditanya aneh2.. asik banget dah pokoknya.
lanjuuuuuuuuuttttt
dari narita, gw musti pindah kereta untuk sampe ke sendai... berhubung udah gak tau tujuan. gw dateng ke mbak2 tukang jual tiket kereta. sampai sana gw ngomong dalam bahasa inggris campur jepang. sederhana aja yang gw bilang... mbak, saya mau ke sendai, terserah caranya gimana, pokoknya tolong saya dibantu..huahahaha...dan sepertinya malaikat masih ada di deket gw. tuh mbak langsung ngerti dan ngasih tiket yang gw minta. tiket kereta dari narita-tokyo stasiun, terus ganti shinkansen tujuan tokyo-sendai.
lanjuuuuuuuuutttttt
masuk stasiun kereta bawah tanah, dan disini, keliatannya malaikat yang tadi udah ada kerjaan lain, gw bingung setengah idup ngeliat orang banyak, papan petunjuk dalam bahasa jepang dll. gw gak tau musti ke mana untuk sampe kereta gw. setelah susah payah menjelaskan pada pegawai disana. akhirnya gw dikasih tau kereta gw yang mana..huhu.. akhirnya..
lanjuuuuuuuuuutttt
sampai di stasiun tokyo... gila banget. nih stasiun jauh lebih ramai dari airport. mateng gw. gw gak perlu cerita panjang lebar mengenai gimana bingungnya gw saat itu, karena biar gimana juga gak bisa diungkapin dengan kata2.... pokoknya entah gimana gw bisa sampai ke kereta gw.
lanjuuuuuuuuuutttt
sampai di sendai. gak ada kerepotan, tapi, sempat susah payah ngangkat koper yang gede banget lewat tangga... padahal gak jauh dari situ ternyata ada tangga jalan dan lift... ampuuun.dan,... di depan stasiun sudah berdiri, mas hadi yang njemput....fiuuuuhhhhh

Indonesian, Thay, or perhaps Japanese???

2008-10-17T23:33:00.002+07:00

Today is the weirdest day ever... you know why?? This afternoon, on my way to campus, I was waiting for the bus. Next to me, there was a man wearing a hat...And so, the bus arrived. On my way up, I nearly slipped. On my surprise, I said "Aduh" (ouch in Indonesia). anyway, in the bus. the hat man said "kamu dari Indonesia, tadi aduh bahasa Indonesia kan ya".. I was surprised... and then after a closer look, i realized that he is an Indonesian. I met him before, but with no hat. He also said that he didn't recognize me because I cut my hair... anyway, he tought that I was a Thay....
And then....
On my way home... a Japanese woman, out of nowhere, standing in front of me... and guess what... she suddenly speaked in Japanese to.. ... .. yes... .. she was talking to me!!! gosh! after a while, i could understand what she said. guess again... yes... she was asking me for direction! and I am the one who is a foreigner... a native japanese, asking me for direction???
so now,.... what do you think? am I an Indonesian, Thay or Japanese???

Sendai Station at Night

2008-10-17T23:29:00.005+07:00

These are views of Sendai Station at Night. Beautifull. I wonder when will the Gambir station turn into something like this..

Accident on The Way to Barbecue Party

2008-10-17T23:09:00.009+07:00

About two weeks ago, I was invited to a barbecue party. The party was held on the river bank. I had a really good time. It was just a simple welcoming party from friends at the lab. We grilled some beefs, chickens, vegetables, fishes, and even mushrooms!!

Anyway, usually, there is always bad in good, vice versa. So, before I had a good time in the party, I had a bad time. An Accident on The Way to Barbecue Party... yes... I fell of my bike on the street... it hurts a lot and even more because of the fact that people were looking at me...

Watshi no Apato!

2008-10-03T08:33:00.007+07:00

Watashi no Apato wa sankai desu. Yes it is, third floor, no elevator :D ... it has a great view. I like it here. However, when I first move in, getting big stuff such as refrigerator, washing machine, etc, is really exhausting, to consider that i had bring it all the way up to the 3rd floor.. hahaha

Anyway, I bought yellow curtain which matches well with the tatami. Here is a view from the top..ups, from my room. Messy, but nice view... hehehe

Tohoku Daigaku, Kasen Rabo

2008-10-03T08:17:00.008+07:00

Tohoku Daigaku, my campuss is located up on the hill area of Sendai City. A nice green area. Trees are everywhere. This is my bus stop point at campuss.

This is my building. It housed several laboratories. My lab name is Kasen Rabo (Environmental Hydrodynamic). It's in the second floor of this building.

And finally, this is where I work. A nice small cubicle. hehehe

Oishi! Kaimono!

2008-09-26T23:06:00.007+07:00

A first bite of something is always fun and interesting. you could never guess what you get... so, instead taking a bite of all flavour berty berts beans (or whatever that in Har-Po), i decided to take a bit of something which is even harder to pronounce but tasted .... Oishi!

Afterwards, i went to a department store and shopped.Kaimono! Did you know what i bought?? i wouldn't tell you, coz it's kinda embarassing... but i could tell you for sure that i would look like Hanoman after i wear it :D

Atarashii Jitensha

2008-09-25T12:10:00.005+07:00

I never like or dislike red in an extreme way... however, when i had to choose color for my new bike.. i go with red, coz white and silver are like everywhere..

So, this is my Atarashii Jitensha ...
Nice isn't it.. it serves as my main transportation in japan. Something funny about bike here is that it feels like motorcycle in indonesia... i remember how i used to curse motorcycle in every possible words there are. But here, bike is the public enemy.hahahaa

Nihon ni watashi ga Imasu!!

2008-09-22T16:56:00.006+07:00

So, here i am.. about 6.000 kms from home. In Sendai, Japan. Nihon ni watashi ga Imasu!!Couldn't believe my self that i finally got here... These are my first view of the city from the second story of the Sendai Train Station. Quit amazing. Pedestrian walk safely in the second floor, while buses and cars orderly on the street. really nice.

Anyway, now that i'm here... there're tons of things that i want to do, and i definitely will write them on here.

So, just keep coming back here and wait for my posts... hehehe...

Deep

2008-07-18T10:33:00.003+07:00

This is deep... way deep...

Mariah Carey - Bye Bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because

You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [3x])
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [3x])
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandfather
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus]

日本語で書きます

2008-07-16T14:34:00.005+07:00

私は二月かい日本語をべんきょうします。今日本語で書きます。9月に私は日本へ行きます。日本に私はいしょうにインドネシアの友達と富士山へ行きます。すごいですね。

Watashiwa nihongo wo benkyoshimasu!

2008-06-07T15:45:00.002+07:00

Konnichiwa!! Sangatsu watashi wa nihongo wo benkyoshimasu! Watashi wa sukoshi nihongo wo dekimasu.
Need a cigarette, want to buy one? go to the store and...
me : Sono tabako wa ikura desuka?
shop keeper : go hyakku en (500 yen = 50.000 rupiah)
me : so desuka, takai desu ne... (aah, sooo expensive)
ichi tabako kudasai... (i want one cigar please)

Soshite, watashi wa tabako wo suimasu... tabako wa takai desu. tai hen desu ne...

Nihon ni Ikimashou!

2008-03-15T11:57:00.002+07:00

Finally, it's for sure that i'll be leaving Indonesia on September... Nihon ni Ikimashou! Let's Go to Japan! Ok, several things that i need, HAVE to do before i leave.. I have to make sure that i'll be able to buy cigarette.. till now, i haven't take any nihongo lesson... well, i could always say "ichi, tobako, kudasai" (cave man speak: one, cigarette, please) or maybe waving my hand and pointing fingers in tarzan kind of way... but it would be a lot easier if i understand daily nihongo :D

Quitting...

2008-03-10T10:49:00.004+07:00

Quitting...That is a very terrible thing to say. Don't let it get you... however.. it got me... I didn't know or notice at all... The word just suddenly pop up and I just can't get it out off my head.
Life has been really hard for me lately. I just don't know who I am anymore. feels like each day i'm loosing myself, drawn into this huge blackhole of routines. Before I knew it, I started to miss meetings and forgetting datelines... It's just that, I feel like i'm not challenged enough and because of that, I don't feel alive anymore... do you understand what I'm saying??
I like it better when I have to do programing and building model etc... but I hate it sooooooo much when it's time for reporting and stuffs. And it has been months that i have to deal with reports and administration works. Well it's normal for this time of year since the financial year hasn't started yet and all we do is apply proposal here, there, everywhere.. Last year, I was still pursuing my master degree, and therefore, still dealing with programing for my thesis. but now... yuck.. yuck.. yuck..

American Idol, Global Tv, My Dad and Les Miserables

2008-02-16T12:13:00.005+07:00

American Idol, Global Tv, My Dad and Les Miserables....How's that correspond to each other?
My dad was an American Idol, and he's watching a movie titled Les Miserables in Global Tv??? nope... I'll tell how it works...
My dad died in 2005 as you might have read in the previous post (if you haven't, then read it :D ). I've been feeling miserable, bad mood, since last month. i didn't know why 'till last night. So, last night, there i was watching American Idol on Global Tv. One of the contestant was being interviewed. She said that one day before she auditioned for the show, her dad past away...and though he's no longer at her side, in a way she's definitely sure that her dad was always with her.
suddenly I remember, my dad died on January.... It hit me hard enough to make tears flowing... You know why? I didn't remember it, at all... What kind of son am I?????
And this is how i concluded...
Sometimes when things got really bad, and we got hurt so deep inside, really really hurt, we tend to forget it. And it's not a good thing to do.
For the past three years I've been struggling hard with the fact that my dad is no longer there for me. It gets harder every single day... one day, I think i just want to get it over with, i forget everything about him. living my live as if he never existed... it keep me safe... but the pain is still there somewhere in my heart.
So, when something bring the reality back to me (in my case, the American Idol show on Global Tv), the sleeping hidden pain in me hit hard like a big truck on a highway... and it was really hard knowing that what I've been doing all this time, to forget it, in away sounded like i didn't care for him...
I guess, it's better to live with the pain than to ignore it...Starting from now, i won't try to forget the fact that my dad died, i just live with it, and try to remember the best of him...

A Freedom to Choose

2007-11-05T12:33:00.001+07:00

We had a visit from Pittsburgh, USA, couple of days ago. His name is Tom. He is a graduate student from University of Pittsburgh. His supervisor and my boss are currently working together for disaster management, tsunami. Anyway, he is a very good man with a good sense of humor. we talked about lots of things. He told me that at first, he was studying for social and communication, then he decided that he was more attracted to law. so he studied law and became an attorney for a year or so. One day, he felt like the whole law thing just wasn't for him. so he decided to go back to school, majoring disaster management. and that's how his journey started...
i took something really valuable from his story, A Freedom to Choose ... I mean, he gets to choose whatever he want. If only i live in the US, i might as well switch my major to Far East Archeology or something.. the thing is, i always have this passion for archeology... so what do you think? should i pursue PhD in water resources... or maybe chasing my dream and applied to Archeology? .... .... ....

I've Got a Ticket to Ride

2007-09-20T13:04:00.000+07:00

I couldn't tell exactly how i felt when i get my first ITB ID Card... anxious?yes... happy?yes... glad?obviously... anyway, i just want to show you that now, I've got a ticket to ride ...hehehe

My Dear Sister...

2007-08-08T12:02:00.000+07:00

After dad died, i tried hard not to trouble my mom with my expenses. though i'm not living an easy live, but still, i manage to stand on my own and sometimes send some money to her. however, i'm really looking forward the time when i finally get my doctoral degree.. you know why?... this is what My Dear Sister gave to my mom after the flood. A 2 stories house fully furnished...
Now, when can i do that too?

Cum Laude with a 3.92 GPA !! Can you believe that?

2007-07-17T12:44:00.000+07:00

I just received an amazing news. it turn out that i got my master degree Cum Laude with a 3.92 GPA!! Can you believe that? I don't know what to say.. All the hard works really paid off...

Finally... I'm a MAGISTER

2007-06-14T19:05:00.000+07:00

Today,... i got my master degree. all that hard works... 4 hours sleep every day... frustration... has finally paid off... i got my master degree!!! now i'm officially Mohammad Bagus Adityawan Sarjana Teknik, Magister Teknik. and for your information, with a 3,92 GPA..hehehe

Swimming in my own, private, pool

2007-02-06T14:19:00.000+07:00

So here's the story.. i was watching tv on friday night when my cell phone ring.. my mom and my sis was on the line, they said that the water is rising and the house might be flooded any minute. it was already late, so i decided to go home to Jakarta in the morning.
so i woke up around 9 am, my sis was on the phone saying that the water had risen to a grown up chest and that she and my mom had to go to a higher ground (the third floor of a school building nearby).
so i drove home as fast as i could with my cousin. when we entered jakarta, we could see that the city was literally in chaos... i could no longer tell the difference between the road, lake, river, housing, etc.. there's water everywhere.
as i drove up in the highway, i could tell that i can not get off the highway... if i insist to go down, there's a 100 percent chance that my car will instantly drown in the flood...
so, i park my car in the nearest exit ramp to my house. i walk down the ramp. and yup, i had to swim back home...Swimming in my own, private, pool...

Some of the Brightest Ideas come from Junk!

2006-11-07T15:57:00.000+07:00

This is where I live... you can call it a junk yard, full of everything you can think of. clothes, papers, books... etc...

But, believe it or not, i've done my homework, assignments, works, everything, anything, i do it in my room... :)

Some of the Brightest Ideas come from Junk!

A journey deep in the mountains of Central Java

2006-11-06T17:54:00.000+07:00

I went to Kediri, East Java. The journey back to Jakarta was horrible... I was trapped in traffic. I took a shortcut hopping that the road would be more civilized...yup... a shortcut seemed to be a great idea back then. but then, some roads were blocked, so i had to take other "unfamiliar, full of holes, narrow, winding" road.
my journey to find some nice traffic ended up to be A journey deep in the mountains of Central Java...

Some Things are Built to Last...

2006-11-06T17:46:00.000+07:00

I was walking around an antique shop at Yogyakarta one day, when i spotted several things i have only seen in tv before. "An early version of cd player" and "a black box with buttons, wires, phones" which somewhat similar to telephones...
I was amazed by the information from the shopkeeper that those things still function! so there i was "taking picture with my cellphone" of myself "on the phone"... isn't that amazing! Some Things are Built to Last...

Wishing You All "Selamat Idul Fitri"

2006-11-03T17:49:00.000+07:00

Row..Row...Row your boat..Gently Down The Stream...

2006-11-03T16:52:00.000+07:00

One day..Under the blue sky.. A young man is sailing away in to the open ocean. Slowly but sure,... Row..Row...Row your boat..Gently Down The Stream... He look up and said "Dad, if you see me now, i hope i make you proud.."

family is....

2006-10-19T15:38:00.000+07:00

what is a family? a group of people with mother father son and daughter? or a warm feeling in your heart when you think about it? or is it the grieve that follows when you lost? i can't say for sure...
But look at the picture in the left (japanese anime "Shinchan"). i think the picture said everything you need to know about family...
A warm smile from the father, a loving smile from mom, a very patient brother who loves his little sister, a daughter who loves her family, a dog who is loved by the family and love them back in return...

such a bad smell in the air and the water being not even near to clean

2006-10-19T15:19:00.000+07:00

Yesterday I went to Pekalongan Fishery Port. It was nothing like I had imagined. I thought that the place would be similar to the Pelabuhan Ratu Fishery Port... my bad... Actually, it has better and bigger facilities... but... i have to say that i'm curious "how the h*ll those people able to live there with such a bad smell in the air and the water being not even near to clean?"...

is it "Drive in your sleep" or "Sleep in your drive"..?

2006-10-16T14:35:00.001+07:00

is it "Drive in your sleep" or "Sleep in your drive"..? Both are dangerous!!! I was driving alone, on my way to Bandung. I felt so sleepy. I slap my face, turn the radio on to the max volume, i even (on purpose) drive carelessly (speeding, zig zag, etc) to pump the adrenaline in my blood. Nothing seems to react. I felt more and more sleepy. Than i started to sleep a little and wake up at the first horn of another car threaten by me. It was really horrible. The more you try to open your eyes, the more they close. It seems like the road was wide and straight but suddenly you realize it was narrow and winding. I knew i should had stopped and get some rest... but i don't know... I couldn't think clearly. And then suddenly there was a "bang". I woke up and see the blue sky in front of me. "What, where's the road?" I said to myself. Then suddenly i realize that i was jumping in the air after i hit the borderline... the next thing i knew, my car landed again on the road... just like in the movie where the cop was trying to chase the bad guy so they speed, jump, and landed the car again. I was in shock. Luckyly i didn't get panic. I slowly pull over and when i did that, i realize that i was right in between two trucks when i hit the borderline and jump in the air and landed again still between the two trucks....

one hell of a week?!@@#

2006-09-17T20:25:00.000+07:00

after i was beated by works... here comes week end!! yiha... atleast that was my thought at friday night. but then,... as usual, my cell phone rang. my boss asked me to bring some works for last check. allthough he said last check, it never did a last check. anyway, i went to his place and yup, you're absolutely right.. several corrections were made. and i had to do it in like 10 hours or so. so, instead of enjoying my weekend, i was working till late (wait, it's allready late, it must be dawn then).
now, it was a beautifull saturday morning. a good day for a good long sleep. but then, it wasn't last check after all. some corrections were made again that morning. and then, i received news from jakarta that my aunt in bogor had died.. sniff... she used to take me to amusement park, walking in the park, read me stories, everything you wish..at first, i was trying to neglect the news by concentrating on my works. but at about 3 pm. i just mentally break down. i said to my boss "sir, my aunt just died, i can't continue to work. can i be excused?" he must had seen that my eyes were somewhat red. so he told me to go...
one hell of a week huh?!@@#

I am soooo...beat!!

2006-09-11T13:32:00.000+07:00

i have been working like hell for the past week.. i haven't made any progess in my thesis. i skipped classes.. and i'm exhausted ...
have you ever felt so tired that even a snap of your finger felt hurt?that's exactly how i feel right now... sometimes i wonder, why do i keep struggling so hard when i don't even know who i struggle for? when i first got my engineer degree, i thought "well, now it's time to make my parent happy", but then, i wanted to get master degree. so, i have to work and study at the same time with minimum payment. i hardly save any money for myself. then, how can i make my parent happy?? any suggestion?...

after the brakes, here comes the Air Conditioner!!@#$%#

2006-08-31T17:59:00.000+07:00

A 16 yo should be filled with energy, tons of activities, party all night, etc...try to remember what you were like when you're 16? you go crazy all day all night, your body at it's peak! unfortunately, that doesn't implied for machinery... The air conditioner in my "16 yo" car stop functioning...yaiks! after the brake, here comes the Air Conditioner.. What's next? I think i need a new car... by the way, last night my brother was staying at my place. we talk for hours, play games, until dawn.. anyway, he stayed with my sister in law and my nephew... my nephew was only 11 months old. but he's so adorable. too bad he couldn't bare having me anywhere near him. infact, he was only "available" to be hold by his mother, his father, and my sister. everytime someone tried to hold him, he instantly cried outloud 'till his mom hold him..so, do you know how to understand baby? coz i really don't know how...

yihaa..the brakes had been fixed!!

2006-08-29T14:28:00.000+07:00

Last saturday, my car broke down..everytime i steped on the brake there was scratching sound coming out from the front tire. It sounded just like when you got hungry..gruggg, grugggggg, grugggggggggg... at first it didn't sound clear. but then it get louder and louder and louder and louder and... that people around were looking at my car everytime i steped on the brake. i was worried..as you may allready know, i love to drive in turbo mode. the thought of the brakes stop working was running in my mind..anyway, i was about to go to Jakarta, so i didn't have time to go to a mechanic.anyway, yesterday, i went to a mechanic and he said "luckyly you manage to get here on time.."..phew... the disc brake were allready filled with scratch, but the mechanic was still able to smooth the surface so i didn't have to buy a new one. when i told about this to my brother, he said "you shouldn't forced your car too much. It's not a good idea to speed with a 16 years old machine"....

Have you any idea how tired I am?

2006-08-28T20:35:00.000+07:00

I have a question,... how can you concentrate with so many things in your mind? I can't. There were times when i walk in to my boss's office with a handfull of report in my hand, a pile of paper for my thesis in my bagpack, several calculation and design note in my notebook, and that would be just another one fine "damned, cursed" evening.. my boss would check my works one by one so fast that i hardly keep up. in the end, he stopped commenting my works and give me a time to correct them the way he wanted to... but there i was, standing still, with his words in my head spinning around.. "you have to delete this paragraph, discuss the following journal...in your thesis, recalculate your breakwater design, check your drawing, check the elevation...and so on, and so on...". When he asked me why i stood there in silence, i just said "sorry sir, i just don't know what to do first... i have forggotten what i wanted to do at first "... silly me...

bag=tas kita=us...jadi taskita=bagus..get it?

2006-08-28T19:41:00.000+07:00

hi there..i was just packing up my things, planning to go home, after a tiring, fuzzling, dizzy, rough day at work when i get the idea...the brightest idea in my whole life...which is...to create my own personal blog. hahaha... so, the next thing was to decide the title. at first, i thought "bagus" as in my name would be awsome. but then, lightning struck, thunder roll, car crash, hah?!?!anyway, i was typing b-a-g-u ...and then i stopped. how silly i am? there must be tons of people out there with that name. why not "taskita"? hehehe...it's not that i sold bags or something... but it's my name...
bag=tas kita=us...jadi taskita=bagus..get it?
so, what do i want to write here?
well, for those of you out there who never knew me, i'm in my second year as a graduate student at ITB, majoring water resources engineering. i also a research assistant, a lecturer and an engineer. i have a chaotic schedule every day due to my highly mobile activities. one minute i was in the classroom as a student, the next minute i was allready in another classroom teaching students, and the next thing i knew i was at my desk working several reports due for tomorrow. a secretary would be a big help...hehehe...unfortunately, i couldn't afford any.
my late dad, used to work in the navy. he passed away in january '05. just several months after i finished my engineer degree, 2 days after my sister got her Ph.D, and a week earlier than his plan to go to my place in Bandung. sniff...kinda hurt to remember. my mother is just an ordinary housewive. she lives in Jakarta.
i have one big sister and one big brother. my sister happens to be a lecturer in civil department, ITB. she got her Ph.D degree from University of Buffallo. my brother is taking his doctoral degree at Kinabalu University. they both are experts in their area.. i really am proud of them...
you might think of me as a smart person or something..the thing is, i'm not that smart. and having a sister and a brother like mine means a big burden for me... can you imagine what it's like to be me? well, let me put it this way..sometimes, i have to do stuffs that i don't like just to live up to their standards..i don't want to be the ugly duck in the family..
so now, you know a little something about me...